Navigating the Pain of One-Sided Relationships: A Path Toward Healing

Discover insights into overcoming the pain of a one-sided relationship, dealing with betrayal, and seeking professional help for healing. This post explores personal growth and rebuilding trust after heartbreak.

I am a Male (25). It is late at night—around 4 a.m., to be exact. I had bad memories while reading the other stories, so I thought I should write something. I do not expect to publish this post; it is just for mental peace.

I found a girl on a dating app. I visit dating apps to find people I can talk to for nothing. Just a casual conversation. Because I am a professional, and everything around me is work. I cannot make enough time for socializing and stuff. I saw a girl, her photography, drawings, and hair. And suddenly, it blew my mind. She was simple; her stories were simple in the photographs. But still, there was something. I swiped right at her.

But she did not, unfortunately.

So, I started looking for her on social media with just a nickname. And I found her after a lot of hard work. I hardly add people, but I turned my guard down for her, added her, and waited for a response. This time, I was not disappointed. She added me within an hour. I stalked her full profile, and my God, she was an angel. But little did I know, she was a devil in real life.

We started talking a few days later. I sucked at conversation with girls as I did not have time for that and was not confident enough my whole life. But I felt like she was worth going the extra mile for. With all the confidence in my pocket, I expressed my feelings after a few months, and she said she knew about my feelings. Because I am a dumb guy who cannot hide excitement from his face in front of her.

It made me feel a bit awkward.

And then she said, “I do not have any feelings for anyone because of my past traumas.”

I proposed that we keep dating each other and see where it leads. She does not like romantic relationships; she will marry directly if she feels safe with someone, I agreed. I respected her decision and chose to win my love. We started seeing each other almost every day. I bought her gifts every day, lunch dates, and whatnot!

She had some physical trauma and illness. I started her treatment as, according to her, her parents do not care about her at all, and they do not want to pay for her treatment anymore. It was not a big deal for me; I wanted to wife her up, so she was my responsibility.

From the beginning

She was not that friendly or nice to me. The explanation was she had past issues with guys and could not trust men. But it was fine by me. I thought she would probably trust me one day. She used to sleep on my lap or shoulder whenever she felt tired. I always had to hold her hand while walking down the road. I would bring whatever she wants to eat whenever she wants to eat. She even used to take money from me sometimes. Saying she would return it soon, but I never got them.

She asked me several times when I would be able to marry her and take her away from this shithole. I said I can marry you right now. If you want to talk to your parents, I can do that. And she denied it every time.

It was her birthday

I wanted to do something special for her, so I cooked a full meal and tried to surprise her. After having two bites, she threw all the food in the dustbin because there was not enough salt in it.

That thing hurt a lot.

Because I live alone, I do not cook for anybody else but myself, and I eat less salt because of my health issue; she knew this but still did not care. This is where the actual thing begins.

She started distancing herself from me. I reduced my workload so I could give her more time. And it felt weird suddenly. She does not call, does not meet, does not reply, anything. So I thought there was something wrong and I confronted her.

Then she started crying, saying that there was another guy, she was dating him too. He was funny, and his smile was cute. He had some past relationship traumas similar to hers. So they had a good bond, and suddenly, the guy ghosted her.

And now she feels that she likes that guy. She does not know what to do, and so on. It broke my heart into a million pieces.

I asked, “What about us?”

She said she tried to like me but felt nothing for me. I was shocked and could not say a word. Then I calmly asked her if she wanted me to leave or what. Then she started crying again and said that I was the nicest man she had ever met, and she could not leave me as I was her only friend.

And as I was the dumbest person on earth, I stayed.

Then she started acting weird whenever I tried to touch or do something nice to her; she got instantly furious, stating that she hates all men and that we are dogs. It came to a point where even a single text from me would have made her day worse.

I wanted to know what was happening here, so I started digging. Then I found out that the story about the guy was true. But they were closer than she expressed to me. I found some screenshots where she is making fun of me with her classmates, stating that I am a dumb guy who gives everything to her whenever she asks and does not have a career or future.

She does not want to spend her life with someone making 5-6 digits per month. Instead, she wants to be married to someone wealthy enough to live a luxurious life. Also, I do not have parents, my business can sink someday, and my health issue is a big red flag for her. She does not want to live with someone who has health issues.

After a few days

I called her and said I did not want to be a part of her life anymore; I was leaving. She borrowed some money from me; I want to have it back ASAP because I wanted to invest that money elsewhere. She immediately outbursted and starts spitting some shit. And said I will get my money back within a week. She also said that I was a coward and I never loved her.

I did not care anymore and hung up the call.

It has been 10 months, and I still have not received my money back. She blocked me from everywhere.

Now, after these months, I have been suffering through countless memories.

I questioned myself:

Why did I do so much?

Why did I become so dumb and delusional?

Why did I waste two years behind this girl?

I still suffer from anxiety, and I do not feel like trusting someone anymore. I cannot sleep. Not productive anymore, and so on.

I see many similar stories on this website, and now I wonder if I was born into the wrong generation.

Or am I too naive for this world?

Our Opinion

First and foremost, it is important to recognize the signs of a one-sided relationship, where one partner disproportionately invests more emotionally and financially. This imbalance can lead to feelings of worthlessness and a skewed perception of love and relationships. The experience of being mocked and financially exploited adds a layer of trauma, potentially impacting one’s ability to trust in future relationships.

The feelings of anxiety, sleeplessness, and a lack of productivity are indicative of not just heartbreak but potentially deeper psychological impact, such as depression or anxiety disorders. Seeking the assistance of a therapist can be invaluable in processing these feelings, understanding the dynamics of the past relationship, and learning healthier patterns for future relationships. Therapy can also offer strategies to rebuild self-esteem and trust in others, which seem to have been severely undermined.

Furthermore, it is critical to address the stigma often associated with seeking mental health support, particularly for men. Emotional vulnerability and seeking help should be viewed as strengths, not weaknesses. Engaging in self-care, cultivating supportive friendships, and potentially exploring group therapy could also be beneficial adjuncts to individual therapy.

In sum, while the path to healing may be challenging, it offers an opportunity for deep personal growth and the development of healthier relational patterns. It is a journey well worth undertaking, with professional support tailored to address the unique challenges faced in the wake of such a distressing experience.