Overcoming False Accusations in Relationships – Dispelling Homewrecker Myths | Her Story

Struggling with rumors or being labeled as a ‘homewrecker’? Our page provides insight and strategies for handling false accusations in relationships, affirming your integrity and the truth.

I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about five years. The first time we talked – he was with someone else. The conversation was platonic; we did not flirt or anything, and it was a friendly introduction. But he asked for my number after a few days because he wanted to talk about something important (A crazy ex of mine went to the same university as him, saw my likes on his post, and confronted him about it. So, my current boyfriend wanted to know what is this about).

His asking for my number caused a huge fight between them, eventually leading to their breakup. She did not believe the story about my ex, and according to my boyfriend, the relationship was way too toxic to repair.

All this was in March

We did not talk for months after that. The next time we talked was in October. We became good friends pretty soon and eventually started dating in April next year, one year and a month after his breakup. We are very compatible, and he is the greenest of all flags.

He is extroverted, loves making new friends, and I believe in having my own life.

So, it worked out for both of us.

But his ex cannot get over it.

Even after all these years

She goes to people and says I wrecked her home. We have a fair amount of mutuals (She is one year senior than me and got admitted to my school for 11th-12th grade. I went to a different college after 10th, so there was one overlapping year. I did not know her or my now boyfriend during that time.)

I used to be very popular in school and had a good reputation. So, it bothers me that she keeps calling me a homewrecker.

It goes to the extent that even after all these years if I put out an NGL link or something of that sort – there will be someone saying,

“Hey, she said you wrecked her home. Is it true? I thought you were better than this.”

It angers me now as it goes against what I stand for morally. I feel like addressing the issue sometimes, but I do not want her to feel happy that she got under my skin.

What do you think I should do?

Most importantly, do you all think I am the one wrong here?

Am I the homewrecker?

Our Opinion

Firstly, it is important to recognize that you are not responsible for the actions of others. From your description, you have conducted yourself with integrity throughout the situation. Unfortunately, your boyfriend’s ex-partner is spreading hurtful rumors, but your self-awareness and consideration demonstrate that you are not the ‘homewrecker’ she portrays you to be.

Relationships end for myriad reasons, and while your interaction with your now-boyfriend may have coincided with their breakup, it does not mean you were the cause. Given that there was a significant amount of time between their breakup and when you began dating, it seems clear that you both entered the relationship respectfully and with consideration.

Regarding what you should do, it may be wise to continue taking the high road. Responding to these accusations or engaging with the ex may only stoke the fire. However, if you need to clear your name, you could consider a one-time, clear, and calm statement to your acquaintances, reiterating the timeline and nature of your relationship with your boyfriend.

In the end, those who know and care for you will believe in your character, and for others, their opinions do not define your reality. Embrace the positive aspects of your life and continue to act according to your values, as your actions will always speak louder than rumors.